You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize