okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Randomize
