sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
