hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
