Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I party with great urgency now.
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