with your own penis?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
