he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize