I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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