I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
