I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
