I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
