I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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