she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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