So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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