Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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