i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
