there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
