i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
