I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
