Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
