so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
