I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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