your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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