Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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