I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
