uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
