I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
