So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
