sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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