So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize