**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
