NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
