could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
