Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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