he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
