he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
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