the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
