Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Please don't give away my fajitas
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
