There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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