bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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