is your mom at the bar?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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