We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
