were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
