is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
