Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If that was your dad, he is hot
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You ruined the universe
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
