I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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