You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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