I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The Olympian is in my bed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
