my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
