She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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