I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
