He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
