If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
