God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You pole danced in your parka.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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