Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
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There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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