Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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