Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize