my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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