Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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