i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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