Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
