now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
