Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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