I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
