This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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