dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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