He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
